Explaining yourself is a natural human tendency. I used to do it all the time. We all want to be understood and liked by other people, so we feel like we have to explain our actions and choices. Sometimes the expectations are societal, but oftentimes they come from our parents. However, there comes the point in our lives when we realize that we don’t need to explain ourselves to others. I still struggle with it, but this point came to me about ten years ago. I’ve been working to overcome this habit in myself ever since.
If you’re a fellow explainer of yourself to others, you know what a draining and exhausting task it is. It takes up valuable mental energy that you could be using to pursue your goals and interests. When you always feel like you have to explain yourself, you can get stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and insecurity.
If you want to break this cycle and live a more fulfilling life, you must first recognize that stopping a habit is not easy. You need to have compassion for yourself and understand that there’s a reason why you have the habit in the first place. Once you’ve identified the root cause of your need to explain yourself, you can begin to take steps to overcome it.
One of the most important things you can do is to slow down and sit with the uncomfortable feelings you have when you feel someone expects an explanation from you. You can remind yourself that you can stand the discomfort and that you don’t need to give anyone anything. You only have to do what you want.
It’s also important to develop alternatives to your habit. When you feel the need to explain yourself, ask yourself what else you can do instead. You can read books on assertiveness or research online alternatives to explaining yourself. You can also practice just saying what you want and allowing the other person to react however they want.
Remember, breaking the habit of explaining yourself is not an easy task, and you will make mistakes along the way. But don’t beat yourself up for it. Instead, have compassion for yourself and reaffirm your commitment to change.
You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, and you don’t have to explain your actions or decisions to anyone. By recognizing the root cause of your habit, slowing down, and developing alternatives, you can break the cycle of self-doubt and live a more fulfilling life. So take the first step today, and start living life on your terms!